


(don't) do something stupid

by tenjima



Series: the principle of the thing [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, BUT THEY'RE NOT A COUPLE (yet), M/M, i'm certain wakatoshi ushijima is one of the few levelheaded characters in this series, i'm sorry that was aggressive, iwaizumi and oikawa are introduced
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 17:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29888256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenjima/pseuds/tenjima
Summary: the one where koutarou learns The Truth about One akaashi keiji and everyone is tired
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei
Series: the principle of the thing [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2179185
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	(don't) do something stupid

**Author's Note:**

> look winter is a hard season. props to you if it's your favourite. but i Must Ask — if it's your favourite, how do you feel when it's like late feb/early march and it's been cold for say three and a half months. is it still your favourite then

“YOU’RE SHITTING ME.”

“I am not. And please keep your voice down.”

“WHAT THE FUCK.”

Wakatoshi sighs. There are Many Reasons as to why he chose to spend his lunch with Bokuto Koutarou. Hearing Bokuto Koutarou curse at high volumes in a — family-friendly — park is not one of the reasons.

(Because Wakatoshi has morals. Raising one’s voice and yelling curses when there are children just feet away is not one of them.)

It should be known — to the poor parents who are giving Bokuto Looks — that Bokuto Koutarou, that owl-eyed, owl-haired Mess Of A Man, is not actually a Mess Of A Man. In some aspects. Wakatoshi wishes he could use telepathy to defend his friend. Anyway. Bokuto Koutarou is probably one of the nicest, most genuine people Wakatoshi knows, which is frustrating sometimes because it makes it difficult to get mad at Bokuto for doing something stupid. Which is a lot of times.

Anyway.

“WHAT SHOULD I DO.”

“Lower your voice, first of all. Second, I’m not sure if it’s even true, so I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“BUT.”

“Bokuto, please.”

The _it_ in question is Akaashi Keiji. Or — What Wakatoshi Overheard Akaashi Keiji Saying On The Phone To Make Him Believe That Akaashi Keiji May Not Be Single.

“BUT YOU HEARD IT.”

At least he’s not cursing anymore, but “Bokuto, I will not speak to you unless you lower your voice.”

There’s a pause. Wakatoshi glances Bokuto’s way. He looks guilty. Wakatoshi sighs again.

“I overheard a couple seconds of Akaashi’s conversation on the phone,” Wakatoshi says. “As I’ve explained to you two times before. He was smiling. He said the words _I love you_. For all I know, he could have been speaking to his mother. I felt it necessary to tell you in case he is not, in fact, single. Now I see that this was a mistake.”

“But Ushijima—”

“If you will excuse me,” Wakatoshi interrupts, stands, “I need to get to my philosophy class. I will talk to you later, okay? Please do not do anything rash.”

Bokuto says nothing.

Wakatoshi sighs for a third time and pats Bokuto awkwardly on the shoulder, walks away and tries not to look back because Bokuto Koutarou Sits On A Bench looking sad and dejected. There’s probably some painting he’s resembling right now without knowing.

Speaking of knowing. Wakatoshi knows no Bokuto Koutarou.

Yeah.

He walks away without looking back.

* * *

The first thing Koutarou does after staying on the bench for another five minutes is seek his best friend. Judging by Tetsurou’s icky relationship — Koutarou says icky because well, isn’t it obvious? — with Tsukishima Kei, he’s probably at home right now, cuddled up with the sickeningly sarcastic fake blonde.

And maybe Koutarou holds a grudge for the Sickeningly Sarcastic Fake Blonde because Tsukishima Kei stole Koutarou’s best friend away from him. Stole. Right out from under his feet. One day they, he and Tetsurou, are drinking together, laughing, teasing each other, and the next, Tetsurou is saying _sorry I can’t hang out Tsukishima Tsukishima Tsukishima Kei_.

So yeah, it sucks. It sucks for a lot of reasons.

In conclusion: Koutarou hates being single.

 _im coming home_ , he types out to Tetsurou’s contact, which is unironically entitled _boyfriend_ after An Incident involving Tetsurou’s infamous Jägerbombs last year — the same Jägerbombs that have also unironically gotten Tsukishima drunk many times.

 _ok_ is the response. _do u want me to greet u at the door with a kiss and some homemade food_

_no thats not necessary_

_damn i see how it is_

Koutarou smiles. At least his best friend isn’t being _changed_ by the Sickeningly Sarcastic Fake Blonde — God what a fucking nightmare that would be. 

But.

Akaashi Keiji.

Koutarou promptly starts Freaking Out.

* * *

“TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED.”

“OKAY SO— HI TSUKISHIMA —USHIJIMA SAW AKAASHI AND LIKE HE HEARD HIM SAY I LOVE YOU INTO THE PHONE AND APPARENTLY HE WAS SMILING AND SHIT. USHIJIMA TOLD ME.”

“AND?”

“WHAT.”

“IS HE?”

“SINGLE? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW.”

Koutarou’s Crisis is put to rest when Tsukishima, that lovely lovely boy, that wonderful amazing boy, pipes up. He says: “Akaashi Keiji? Yeah he’s single.”

* * *

Kei shouldn’t have spoken up. He felt bad for Bokuto, maybe that was it, but the yelling that ensued afterwards….Kei was fully prepared for the yelling to _stop_ when he informed Bokuto of Akaashi Keiji’s single-ness, but of course, but alas, as is often the case with Bokuto Koutarou and Kuroo Tetsurou, no.

Kei knows Akaashi Keiji through Tadashi. From what Kei’s seen of Bokuto’s crush so far, Akaashi Keiji is soft-spoken. He seems nice. Kei doesn’t really know. All he remembers from his and Akaashi’s — frankly depressingly minimal — encounters is that Akaashi bought him a banana muffin once. On another occasion, Akaashi took one look at Bokuto and Kuroo trailing behind Kei like puppies and sighed as if the world had placed an Enormous Responsibility on his shoulders. Kei understood immediately the pain that Akaashi Keiji went through and still goes through on a daily basis probably.

“How’d you know?” Kuroo asks him later, when Bokuto is gone, left with the promise of not doing anything stupid. Kei doesn’t really think he’ll hold to that promise, might do something stupid like confess everything to poor Akaashi Keiji, but he keeps this thought to himself.

“Tadashi.”

“Photography?”

“Yeah.”

Kuroo hums, climbs into bed next to Kei with a beer, sets it on the bedside table. He puts his arm around Kei, but Kei is too busy glaring at the beer.

“What?”

“Really?”

“What, you want some?”

“Do I want a sip of your beer.”

“Yeah.”

“Tetsurou, I hate beer.”

“You called me Tetsu before. You also have had beer before.”

“Not me. You’re mistaking me for someone else.”

Kuroo snorts. “Right, because I know so many tall skinny blondes with glasses.”

Kei shivers. “Fine then. Beer by itself I will not drink.”

“What about my Jägerbombs?”

“Fuck your Jägerbombs.”

Kuroo starts laughing. Kei turns his head so Kuroo won’t see the smile he’s trying to hide.

* * *

A while later, when Kei is very comfortable, with Kuroo’s arm around his shoulders and snuggled up against Kuroo’s side — though nobody Ever Need Know This — Kuroo’s phone chimes.

Kuroo sighs, pulls the phone out of his pocket. “It’s Kou,” he says. “‘Should I confess to Akaashi I’m very drunk right now yes or yes,’” he reads. He looks up at Kei.

Kei is horrified. “ _No_ ,” he says. “No, absolutely not. Tetsurou, he promised.”

“I know.”

“What the fuck.”

“I know.”

“Tell him no, no, absolutely not. Akaashi Keiji does not deserve a drunken confession. What time is it even? Like, four?”

“It’s seven.”

“Why is he drinking at seven?”

Kuroo smirks. “Why does Kou ever do any of the things he does?”

“Because he’s Bokuto,” Kei groans.

“I’ll go heat up the car.”

* * *

Koutarou isn’t that drunk, but theatrics always make Tetsurou come running, worried.

He’s at Iwaizumi’s apartment, sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand, watching Oikawa’s horrible attempts at flirting.

There’s a knock. Iwaizumi looks relieved. “I’ll get it,” he announces, cutting Oikawa off mid-sentence. Koutarou ducks his head to laugh.

“Where is he,” Tetsurou demands. Koutarou laughs harder.

“You asshole,” Tetsurou says, comes in and over, yanks the beer out of Koutarou’s hand. Koutarou stops laughing.

“Dude my beer” is the first thing that comes to mind and to his mouth. “Tsukishima!” he cries, noticing the blonde still at the door. Iwaizumi motions for him to come in.

“Did you two encourage Koutarou?” Tetsurou asks. He sounds angry, but Koutarou knows the anger, whatever it’s directed at, will pass. Eventually. Maybe. Possibly in the next fifteen seconds if Koutarou doesn’t do or say anything stupid.

“Oikawa did,” Iwaizumi says, traitorous as ever. “I advised against it. I still am advising against it. Please take Bokuto and Oikawa away from me, I beg of you. I will literally pay you money. Bokuto is drinking all my beer and Oikawa is trying to hook up with me, even though I’ve said a million times that I am _not interested_.”

Oikawa makes an offended sound.

“Dude, Oikawa’s your own problem,” Tetsurou says, grins. “My job is to take care of this one and that one.”

“I’ll drop him off at Ushijima’s place then.”

“Stop talking about me like I’m not here,” Oikawa whines.

“Shut up.”

Oikawa gasps, dramatically.

“Come on,” Tetsurou says to Koutarou. “Can you stand?”

“I’m not _drunk_ ,” Koutarou informs Tetsurou, who just looks angrier. “I’m fine. I just had a couple beers. But dude, I think I really should tell Akaashi. I mean, what if he thinks I don’t like him and then he falls for someone else and then—”

“Kou, we can talk about this in the car.”

“ _No_ ,” Kei speaks up. “I don’t want to be present for that conversation, thanks very much. You can just drop me off at my dorm.” He cracks half a smile. “Apartment. Thing.”

Tetsurou grins back. “You sure?”

“Yes.”

“I can take him back,” Iwaizumi offers. “Ushijima’s apartment isn’t far from your dorm building, Tsukishima.”

Tsukishima shrugs.

“Iwa-chan—”

“ _Shut up_.”

* * *

“Oikawa and Iwaizumi?”

“Seems like it.”

“Iwaizumi hates Oikawa.”

“Enemies to lovers trope.”

“No.”

“Then…one-sided attraction?”

“Please stop.”

“We should totally get them to—”

“Don’t finish that sentence.”

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/tenjima)
> 
> i love everyone who reads this series or even just one installment bc i'm actually quite proud of it bc i live for chaotic good yes this is a run-on sentence. basically i am Professing My Love for people who read and/or like this series. tpott. teapot. do y'all think haikyuu characters would drink tea. prob not right. maybe like...akaashi and takeda. ushijima maybe
> 
> anyway. sixth installment will be out soon i think. idk who it'll be yet. we haven't heard from yamaguchi for a while i hope he's doing ok


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